Keeping Children Out of Conflict

It is important for separating spouses to keep their children out of any conflict or issues that arise during the separation or divorce process. While separation can be an emotionally trying time for the parties, the children are not therapists. They should not be privy to adult issues or have any information pertaining to the separation.

To make sure the children are kept out of any conflict spouses should not:

  • Ask the children to choose sides or to spend more time with one parent over the other.
  • Speak about the divorce process and particulars of their particular matter.
  • Use the children as pawns in negotiation by restricting one parent’s access to the children in order to punish him or her
  • Use the children as a delivery system. Children should not be delivering important documents between the parents and they should not be asked to pick up and deliver support cheques for one parent.
  • Speak ill of or make disparaging remarks about their ex-spouse in the presence of the children.
  • Question the children about what they did during their time with the other parent or ask the children to spy on the other parent for them.

Children have nothing to do with the breakdown of a marriage. The separation and divorce process can be hard enough on children, without their parents involving them in the process, regardless of their age.